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Big Scary Elk...Running Wild!

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We went to Elk Island Park, my wife and me, one fine afternoon. Elk Island Park should be called "Pee Your Pants Because There Are Big Scary Bison All Over The Place And They Are Not Even In Cages" Park.

Shrewd marketing.( I guess if they called "PYPBTABSBAOTPATANEIC' Park , no one would go.)

There's a place at Elk Island Park called "The Bison Loop."

Just inside the entrance to this Loop is a sign. This sign features a picture of an obviously terrified tourist, running away from a charging bison, who is in hot "steam coming out of the nose" pursuit. This great hairy thing is planning to run her down...which is sorta freaky on two levels:

1) The person is about two seconds from being gored and/or trampled to death and

2) Someone just stood there, took a picture of it and then sold the picture to the Park Services

The caption under the image in big no nonsense lettering is "THIS COULD BE YOU." There follows a discussion that bison are unpredictable, and that they can charge without warning...even if they looked like harmless grass eating monsters only a few seconds before. The sign tells the story of a photographer who spent hours getting into position...but got charged when some other people unexpectedly came onto the scene. A PHOTOGRAPHER! CHARGED! By freaking BISON (!), who are by their very nature very big and potentially seriously pissy.

We escaped the Loop unscathed. No bison...although there were a number of ferocious looking gophers (also uncaged, by the way).

I took the sign we'd seen as a warning from God. Sheree didn't see it that way. Elk Island is the very park Sheree wanted to go to. She's been heading out to the great outdoors wherever possible lately, photographing birds -- which I find preferable to bison since birds probably won't kill you.

(The other day we found an inch worm on our BED, that had stowed away inside a fold her sock while she was tramping around "in the bush." It was pulsing along our sheets. Sheree asked me to dispatch it...but felt it was excessive when I returned in a surgical mask, oven mitts and toting seven sheets of sturdy paper toweling.This however, is another story. My point is simply that my wife is turning into Grizzly Adams.)

Anyway, I digress. We were, to my immense relief, on our way out of the park with limbs intact and no horn-sized holes in our chests, on our way to search out a nice safe Hutterite Colony, when we saw these two HUGE bison by the side of the road...

...you guessed it: the story continues in a book called "Crap I Think About." Thirteen cents per thought/picture and story. Think about that, will ya?